Thursday, October 15, 2020

Four blogs makes a dollar, or something

 I heard if you blog every day, you get better at organizing your thoughts, and it leads you to being more productive. Maybe that was writing in a journal. Is "journaling" a word? Spellcheck seems to think it is. 

As I wrote yesterday, I think all of the habits I'm trying to establish are predicated by the need to wake up earlier and be productive with my mornings before work. I can write, or exercise, or whatever, when I get home from work, but at that point it is a chore. I start feeling like there's never any downtime, and before I know it, I'm either falling asleep or so wired that getting to sleep at a reasonable hour is again night unto impossible.  Neither of those outcomes is desirable.

So, I'm biting the bullet tonight, so to speak, and not writing for the second day in a row. I'm going to relax, try to take my mind off everything for a couple of hours, get some good reading and television in, and get to bed on time. I could probably fall asleep right now if I went to lie down, so it's a good night to reset my schedule, set my alarm early, and get up tomorrow morning come hell or high water.

I have a hard time putting things aside. Too often, it's led to me starting a cycle of forgetting, or blowing things off, particularly writing, and then the whole self-loathing, self-defeating cycle of excuse making, rationalization, and motivation will begin all over again. 

That's not what I'm doing here. At no point will I give up making this all work the way I want it to work. I'm having too much fun writing when I actually do, and I'm already feeling better from eating better, exercising a little, and drinking a ton more water than I have been for months. I'm not going back. I'm going to keep moving forward, bit by struggling bit, until I get where I want to be. 

Anyway, that's enough for now. Off to relax and reset.

See you tomorrow.

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